Operation Transfer Girl

 2020 was a pretty horrendous year, that's no news. Many horrible things happened, I have been lucky enough that me and my family have not been struck by coronavirus. Lucky, or sensible? Could the majority of people have avoided the devastation by being more careful? I can't and won't judge that. And as the self-centred person I am, this is about me and my year. Not a BBC news recap. 2020 was a pretty horrendous year, that's no news. I haven't been to Hungary since February. I have barely seen my relatives this year. I have been furloughed, leaving me and my messed up mind to my own devices. This is because my workplace shut. The once thriving and overbooked hotel was empty. Then when it reopened, it struggled, it changed, it was hurting, the team reduced, closed, opened, closed, half opened - changed. And it still hasn't settled. It's uncertain. My career, on hold. Had three amazing job opportunities this year. All three, disappeared. One came back. I stepp...

"You are lucky you came to see me today. He is working late today" she said and peered out the window as she was sipping her coffee. "His office is on the other side of the city darling" I rolled my eyes. I took the tea bag out of my mug. It has been soaking in there for a while now, the liquid was dark, just like her eyes. "What are you afraid of? I know he doesn't like me, after how our friendship has ended, but that was years ago, he must..." "You don't understand, there is no point arguing with him, he just doesn't see why I should keep contact with you. I will just tell him I had my lunch break with Tiff." I had just turned up at her office 20 minutes ago and convinced her to have coffee with me. It was a sudden idea, I was in the neighbourhood and after all, we had history, we were friends back then. "Do you still travel a lot?" she changed the subject nervously. Another sip from her coffee, even though it was stil...

If they treat you as an option,                                                 be their best opportunity missed. If they treat you as a chance,                                                 be their best decision made. Moo.

As I am one "have a great day!" Spotify playlist and a borrowed vape away from having my daily breakdowns, the familiar bittersweet feeling of burnout starts to fill my lungs again. I must be short fused you say, I just had 3 months of no work but that ain't this easy. Partly, it had made it even worse. While being on furlough with high functioning depression did its damage, I also managed to recharge a lot. I didn't know I will start caring again so much about work, it's not like I planned it this way, okay? But I do. And caring about something you convinced yourself to let go, putting your 110% effort in before giving it all up is quite frankly 1. exhausting 2. unappreciated 3. stupid. But I guess I have never been the smart one.

Alright, I have a confession to make. I have become one of those people. I have a day planner. And I take it with me. Everywhere. If you are wondering what is that one item I keep in my bag all the time, then now you know, it is my academic diary. I did, in fact, leave my purse at home the other day accidentally, but not the diary. If you call me to arrange a meeting with me, I would be quoting Tilly from Miranda (the show), and you would hear " bare with " at least three times, while I grab my planner from my bag. If you ask me about my availability by text, I might as well just send you a picture of the questionable week. But without a diary, how would I know, which job to turn up to, or if my training starts at 15 or 30 past. Or if it is the kind of lecture you can turn up to hangover, or in pyjamas. Or both. I mark the dates when student finance comes in, with the amount and a smiley face, and mark the days of rent with the amount and a big-big sad face. I write ...

Dear Arthur, As I am getting closer and closer to the end of yet another period of my lifetime, I often evaluate the things I have learnt and gained from these experiences. Spending a year in Bristol for my placement was mostly supposed to be about my profession, about work and learning about my industry. It was also an opportunity to meet new people. I made two different types of acquaintances, I made connections, the ones useful for my future, and I made friends. But is it possible to become friends in such short time? Is time really relevant to the quality of friendship? You will see, soon enough, what really is important and what isn't; though I assume it can be different for each person. For me, all those little things count. Having common interests and being able to spend time together sometimes aren't the aspects that make a friendship truly meaningful. But knowing those little things about each other, showing that the other's personality is interesting an...

I went to watch my friend playing volleyball for the first time. Their team was just a group of friends who decided to join a charity tournament ( that was my brief understanding of the situation anyway, but don't hold me to it). I was sitting on the side on my own and all those sweet memories came back from high school. I did my fair share of volleyball, have a few years behind me. Practised weekly, was on the school team and we entered competitions in season. Watching them made me think about the other girls, how strong they were, how hard we fought and how big part of my life it was back then. I remembered all those little things we did as a routine during the game, who was the best at what, what my strength was, and suddenly I wanted to get on the game. But then I was watching the game, and someone made a mistake. And all those memories of shame, pain and humiliation hit me at once. We were fighting hard, but it was never enough. We put all the sweat and time in every move...

Dear Arthur, Today we celebrate your first six months of existence. I believe by the time you ever find these letters, you will be old enough just to understand the things I am going to tell you. May the odds be in your favour for you not to go through some of the battles I have conquered, lost, fought and yet to face in life, but I truly wish you will be able to see some of the rainbows of the sky and the silver linings of the clouds that shown themselves to me in the past years. Let me just say it, as it is the most important thing I will ever tell you, and I am sure I will keep repeating this until my last breath: You are simply a miracle. I am still not sure if I believe in miracles at all. Usually if they do happen, they don't last long, therefore you are the only one that I know will last. Life doesn't just give good things to you, handing them out like they are going out of date. You need to fight for them, you need to work for achievements, for recognitio...

Once a very wise person told me "you have time for anything if you make time for it yourself". And it is one of the biggest truths I have ever been taught. If you really want something to happen, you just need to make it happen. If I really wanted to iron my shirt in the morning, I would have spent less time in the shower, and spend that extra 3 minutes sorting out my uniform. If I really cared to get somewhere in time, I would have made sure to catch the right bus. If I really wanted to see someone, I would have made time for them. If I really wanted to achieve my goal, I would have fought for it more. If I really cared for other people, I would have tried to do everything to help them out. If I really wanted you in my life, then I  would have made the effort to make it happen.  There is so little we can control in the world, but there is so much we can do in life. But it is easier to find the excuses and to say no, I couldn't do anythi...

When I was young, I always wanted to just grow up and get started on my career. I could not wait to start working, that is why I looked for my first job as soon as I turned 16. In England, after you finish your GCSEs and turn 16, you can leave education and start "the big LIFE". In Hungary, you need to finish high school, and be 18 to start working properly. And even though I was all about working, I went to university because I thought it was very important. (This might be because of the Hungarian mentality of needing to get papers of your education, and the general push towards higher education. I think it is a great approach, however, it can be quite off-putting for the less ambitious teens.) At university, I was determined to find a job straight away, not just because I needed to support myself financially, or because I understand the importance of job experience in the future, but because I really wanted to. I still have two part time jobs alongside my studies, and I ...

To be able to work in hospitality, and in this recent case, on reception, you must have many skills. To give amazing service, you must put in your heart, just to make those few seconds, minutes, or hours special while you are interacting with your guests. But in order to be able to look in the mirror and see a human being at the end of your day, you also must learn not to let the mean comments get to you. For some, it is not hard at all, for others, it might seem impossible to live by the "water off a duck's back" saying.  It took me a great deal to get used to people looking down on me, and I still raise an eyebrow when some guests are trying to offend me just to attempt to get what they want, let that be a free stay, free food, a bottle of wine or just to let the steam off their chests. Most of the time it isn't even personal, they are just saying whatever comes to their minds, and I know, I just happen to be the person they have found with their anger. However, ...

Stop being a worrier and be a f*cking warrior. You will thank me. Kind regards, Lilla

...Who we trust to rescue us from the fire  but would question twice when they hand over a beverage. ... Akiben megbízunk, hogy kiment az égő házból, de kétszer meggondoljuk, hogy mit rakott az italunkba.

I believe in three types of people. The reasons, the excuses and the mute. Decisions are hard. Period. They can hurt. As well. Both the ones making up their minds and the ones nearby. Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do. And there is nothing to be judged about that. You have got to a point in life where you are presented with an option or another way, and it is completely natural to do what is the best for you. Good for you! At the end of the day, you are who matters the most to you. But it also matters how you handle it. How you go through with it. If in doubt, it is human instinct to justify ourselves, our decisions. The reasons are the ones who will be out and open, letting the truth take the blame. They are the bravest for standing to be judged, and for believing in their own right. The excuses will live up to this instinct fully by putting themselves in a light that others won't judge. Could be lies, could be exaggeration, and also could be done completely uninte...

When sh*t hits the fan, everyone reacts differently. Some will leave the sinking ship. Some will lurk in the background to wait out their moment. Some will shift to the other side and betray all they had believed in. And some of us will try to just somehow put up with it. Not because we want to. Not because we can. But because we must. But what happens when all method, all routine known to oneself fails to get you over it. When you try everything that has ever occurred to you let it be legal or not. When the exercise does not take your mind off of things, when the cake doesn't taste as good, when the cut just can't be deep enough to hurt, when the drunkenness is just bitter sweet and when the shoulders you need the most are not there to cry on. When there is nothing that shouts: you need to survive. Do you know what you do then? You get your f*cking act together and take your fabulous self back in the front line. Not just because you must. But because you can and you bloody w...

As someone who is likely to worry too much -  To consider the options one can say. To consider all the outcomes of each option. To rephrase it a billion times. To write a whole novel, then to delete it. To think of a good comeback for all the possible answers. To do the whole thing all over again. To go mad and anxious. Then to realise, there is the option of silence. Why to sweat it, when to stay out of the way is so much easier? It is a statement. Like it can be done just like that. To stay quite and have all those worries come back. Should of said anything? All the right things come to mind at this point. All the reasons to speak up. The head just gets filled with anxiety, what ifs, anger and desperation. To realise, the silence can go unnoticed so easily. To realise, it is possibly the bitchiest move. To realise it wasn't even heard. Then to notice, all this time, just been silly. There is probably nothing wrong. It is just in the head. And the longer the thoughts ...

Sometimes I am worried I might be schizophrenic . But then I just tell myself there is nothing wrong with us . ***

Everyone has one. Doesn't matter if you are working on the bar, reception, in the restaurant. You meet hundreds of people every week, there are some just passing by, and some you welcome back regularly. And then there are the favourites. It won't be the one who stays there the most, spends the most money or is a highly ranked loyalty member. They won't be your favourite because they take the least time at the desk, have no fuss or bad words at check out. Or the ones giving you 5 star rating on TripAdvisor. The one who speaks kindly down to you, like it is a privilege. Or the one telling you about their fantastic holiday neither the one moaning about their day. It will be the one who knows you want to start driving, and is checking up on your progress. The one who comes specifically to you if he has a request. The one who would rather wait for you to finish the phonecall so you can chat over check in. The one who will tell you if he had a difficult day but then reme...

I will cook chicken soup for one - said no one ever . ///////////////////////////////////////////////// Pipileves egy személyre... Na persze, jó vicc!