Operation Transfer Girl

 It has been a year since we started to feel the consequences of a global pandemic. A year since people stopped going into work, a year since we downloaded Tiktok, a year since we started wearing our masks and gloves. So many things had changed within the space of few weeks, businesses closed, people stuck together and torn apart. The normal flow of life had slowed down and sped up, changed courses and swapped priorities. Do you ever think, what if Covid-19 never hit? Where would you be? What would be different and what would be the same? If you were back waking up in your bed on the 28th February 2020, what would be your first thoughts of hope on how your day will look like? Around that time, I was excited for a change, excited for packing up and leaving, leaving my job, leaving my house, my friends, the city, leaving it all to start again. I was excited for an opportunity, one that comes around once in your life, a promotion with a life upgrade. Including a move and life-style ch...

 I couldn't tell you where this memory/thought process came from, but I thought I would share it with you, maybe someone can relate. I always find myself in the same position, regardless my age: adults trusting me with their absence. Let me explain. My mother worked in a children's hospital when I was in my early to mid teens. She would work on A&E and that means long hours, so I often went to visit her if she was behind the reception in the afternoon, on evenings or on weekends. It was just normal to pop in, or stick around if I was waiting for an appointment for myself in a different department. Now, fair enough, most of my mother's colleagues knew me, so they had no problems with me sticking around in the staff room, or even behind the desk. But why they allowed me to talk to patients (they often assumed I was an employee or an intern), record their details on the computer or walk them down to the correct examination room is way beyond me. Another example: I don'...

 In 2020 I fell in love twice. This is about the first one. About same time last year, I was stupidly in love but in a fairy tale, unlikely match, destined to be doomed fashion. The spark, amazing, the intellectual connection, faultless, the support, what I always deserved. People told me, I was beaming happiness. I found love like never before. And it made me a better person. Little hurdles and inconveniences didn't flip me out as they used to. I was calm, collected and accepting. They gave me all the attention I wanted, the praise, the love. And I gave them my all, they entered my world and I handed the whole to them. I absorbed them and they absorbed me. They knew me better than I knew myself, and I understood them like I never understood anyone before. It wasn't obsessive. But I felt really loved, and happy about that love. It was love I never knew before. The right love. The relationship, as almost non-existent, I am reluctant to call it that, was short lived. While the lo...

 2020 was a pretty horrendous year, that's no news. Many horrible things happened, I have been lucky enough that me and my family have not been struck by coronavirus. Lucky, or sensible? Could the majority of people have avoided the devastation by being more careful? I can't and won't judge that. And as the self-centred person I am, this is about me and my year. Not a BBC news recap. 2020 was a pretty horrendous year, that's no news. I haven't been to Hungary since February. I have barely seen my relatives this year. I have been furloughed, leaving me and my messed up mind to my own devices. This is because my workplace shut. The once thriving and overbooked hotel was empty. Then when it reopened, it struggled, it changed, it was hurting, the team reduced, closed, opened, closed, half opened - changed. And it still hasn't settled. It's uncertain. My career, on hold. Had three amazing job opportunities this year. All three, disappeared. One came back. I stepp...

If they treat you as an option,                                                 be their best opportunity missed. If they treat you as a chance,                                                 be their best decision made. Moo.

I went to watch my friend playing volleyball for the first time. Their team was just a group of friends who decided to join a charity tournament ( that was my brief understanding of the situation anyway, but don't hold me to it). I was sitting on the side on my own and all those sweet memories came back from high school. I did my fair share of volleyball, have a few years behind me. Practised weekly, was on the school team and we entered competitions in season. Watching them made me think about the other girls, how strong they were, how hard we fought and how big part of my life it was back then. I remembered all those little things we did as a routine during the game, who was the best at what, what my strength was, and suddenly I wanted to get on the game. But then I was watching the game, and someone made a mistake. And all those memories of shame, pain and humiliation hit me at once. We were fighting hard, but it was never enough. We put all the sweat and time in every move...