About being a hoarder

 I am borderline a hoarder. What is lucky, is that I had to move a million times in the last 10 years. Fine, if you want the real number, I called 13 different places "home" since 2009. In contrast, only a few of them felt really like home. Why did I say that is lucky? Because when I am forced to move, I am forced to sort through my belongings, or most of them, therefore my hoarder lifestyle has never really kicked in.

That being said, I still keep every knick-knack for a longer-than-normal/needed/necessary time. If I found it, or it is a scrap of another project, I am so worried about creating waste, about wasting money, I always keep it, just in case it will be good for something. I believe I learnt this behaviour from my grandparents. My mum's parents ALWAYS kept every little piece of metal, wood, textile, paper, you name it. And they were crafty people. They had a lot of projects, always creating something. My grandpa worked at the radio as an engineer, my grandma was a teacher. Something always needed to be built or crafted. I definitely think I partially got my incline to make gifts for my loved ones from them. Which also led me to keep every little scrap I have, all the jars I ever emptied. My "craft corner" went from 2 boxes to 5 boxes and a backpack since October.

I also get very attached to objects. I always have. I remember truly believing that my dolls and stuffed animals could feel. When I had to choose which one I am sleeping with (I had way too many plushies and I had a way too severe dust allergy, so really, I shouldn't have slept with any), I always felt guilt for those that weren't picked. When pretend play took a turn and I decided to hate one of my toys, I felt guilty for days to the point of apologising in tears for making them the villain. Any psychologists out there want to explain? But this made throwing old things out a lot harder. And because it always made it hard for me to let go of them, I kept them until they were really falling apart, when I wasn't able to give them to charity, and they truly had to be binned. I have a special bond with my cow toys, and even now I have a huge box full of cow things that I got as presents. I have been carrying that box with me for the last 5 years. In October, at my last move, I made the rule that 'If I don't remember how I got it, it has to go', so I truly only keep the ones I am attached to by a memory, and not because of some internalised childhood guilt.

That being said, I am planning to move again in the next 2-3 months, and the memories of my last move, and how many rounds we had to do in my partners tiny car to move my things is still vividly embarrassing. So I think it is the perfect time to try and downsize. I have recently sorted through my clothes (selling these online is a whole different story that I may share in the future), so I am a step ahead. Charity shops will be open in a week.

So, I will be doing a 2-week minimalism challenge (I will never get to that level, but I also don't think that is my cup of tea, but progress is always welcome), documented over at my Instagram @lillamoo. Starting with 1 item on day 1, 2 on day 2, by the end of the 2nd week I would be parting from 105 items. Rubbish does not count and packaged goods count as 1 item. It is starting today and I will post on my IG story, not for clout but for accountability. 

Afterall, there is enough emotional baggage I am carrying, I don't need all this crap.