Operation Transfer Girl

If they treat you as an option,                                                 be their best opportunity missed. If they treat you as a chance,                                                 be their best decision made. Moo.

As I am one "have a great day!" Spotify playlist and a borrowed vape away from having my daily breakdowns, the familiar bittersweet feeling of burnout starts to fill my lungs again. I must be short fused you say, I just had 3 months of no work but that ain't this easy. Partly, it had made it even worse. While being on furlough with high functioning depression did its damage, I also managed to recharge a lot. I didn't know I will start caring again so much about work, it's not like I planned it this way, okay? But I do. And caring about something you convinced yourself to let go, putting your 110% effort in before giving it all up is quite frankly 1. exhausting 2. unappreciated 3. stupid. But I guess I have never been the smart one.

I went to watch my friend playing volleyball for the first time. Their team was just a group of friends who decided to join a charity tournament ( that was my brief understanding of the situation anyway, but don't hold me to it). I was sitting on the side on my own and all those sweet memories came back from high school. I did my fair share of volleyball, have a few years behind me. Practised weekly, was on the school team and we entered competitions in season. Watching them made me think about the other girls, how strong they were, how hard we fought and how big part of my life it was back then. I remembered all those little things we did as a routine during the game, who was the best at what, what my strength was, and suddenly I wanted to get on the game. But then I was watching the game, and someone made a mistake. And all those memories of shame, pain and humiliation hit me at once. We were fighting hard, but it was never enough. We put all the sweat and time in every move...

When I was young, I always wanted to just grow up and get started on my career. I could not wait to start working, that is why I looked for my first job as soon as I turned 16. In England, after you finish your GCSEs and turn 16, you can leave education and start "the big LIFE". In Hungary, you need to finish high school, and be 18 to start working properly. And even though I was all about working, I went to university because I thought it was very important. (This might be because of the Hungarian mentality of needing to get papers of your education, and the general push towards higher education. I think it is a great approach, however, it can be quite off-putting for the less ambitious teens.) At university, I was determined to find a job straight away, not just because I needed to support myself financially, or because I understand the importance of job experience in the future, but because I really wanted to. I still have two part time jobs alongside my studies, and I ...

Everyone has one. Doesn't matter if you are working on the bar, reception, in the restaurant. You meet hundreds of people every week, there are some just passing by, and some you welcome back regularly. And then there are the favourites. It won't be the one who stays there the most, spends the most money or is a highly ranked loyalty member. They won't be your favourite because they take the least time at the desk, have no fuss or bad words at check out. Or the ones giving you 5 star rating on TripAdvisor. The one who speaks kindly down to you, like it is a privilege. Or the one telling you about their fantastic holiday neither the one moaning about their day. It will be the one who knows you want to start driving, and is checking up on your progress. The one who comes specifically to you if he has a request. The one who would rather wait for you to finish the phonecall so you can chat over check in. The one who will tell you if he had a difficult day but then reme...