About feeling valid

 I can talk about how much I love my partner or how excited I am about moving in together for hours. I actively am planning our wedding, and think about wanting babies at least 3 times a day. But I am also going to be the person that says you do not need any of those to be a full, happy, successful person.

Maybe you don't have those things, or not all of them, because you can't, couldn't so far, or you just don't want to have those things, and that is absolutely fine. We are all in different stages of life. I, for instance, had finished my 2nd degree by the time my partner started his first, and there is only 10 months difference in age between us. I have managed people twice my age at work, and I know many of the younger generation earns double my wage. We go through life differently, because of the choices we make. Society, and many people within, has a rough outline on what the stages should be in which phase of aging, like check-points in a videogame. Unfortunately, oftentimes those people who are firm believers of the traditional check-points judge, criticise and belittle those not following the same script, mostly unknowingly, of course.

When I announced I was going to have a cat, as a single 24 year old living in shared housing, I was told it will be hard, it is a huge responsibility and I should think it through before jumping into it. Of course it is all true. On the other hand, whenever I put my two cents in about raising children, or dare to compare having my cat to having a child, I get shut down. While pets definitely require less attention and overall are cheaper (despite Cookie's best efforts to have a huge medical bill by his 3rd birthday in June), in a sense they are also a lot more difficult. I may not know everything about babies, but I am sure that a child of the same age as my cat (3 soon) will sleep through the night and at least can point out what hurts on their body. Meanwhile here is me, still being woken up once or twice during the night and have to play the guessing game on why Cookie is behaving differently every other week. Tummy ache? Got into a fight? Just sleepy? Ate a poisonous plant (his latest little adventure to the vets)?

And I may not be a mother, but I have every right to be tired, to have enough of people, to need relaxation and alone time. I completed two degrees and multiple online courses. I create, both content and handmade gifts. I am learning a language - my third. I engage with my friends, I make an effort with my colleague. I work out, I try my best to take care of my health. I pursue my passions. I have the reason to be tired, and I don't have to have a child as a reason.

I get to do all of those things because of the choices I made. Others get to be mothers of children because of the choices they made. I get to be the mother/owner of a cat because I made that choice. All of these choices, decisions and feelings should be and ARE valid. You are not more or less for having or not having either of those. We are valid. You are valid, and don't let anyone else tell you otherwise.