Operation Transfer Girl

As gyms reopen, pole studios can start offering practice sessions and private lessons. Everyone is buzzing. I am sad. I am sad because now I have to face with the reality of quitting pole dancing. I always felt like I was behind compared to others. As someone who has no standard working hours nor working days, doesn't drive, and therefore relies on buses, I could never regularly commit to lessons. Sometimes I had more chances to go, sometimes it was a rare occasion. Sometimes by the time I got my rota and knew that I can go to a session, it was booked up. And that is across three lovely studios. I know the irregularity of my training was not my only downfall, but I am also aware of how much progress I used to make when I had a good month with lots of lessons. Thanks to the pandemic, I had even less chance to pole. Since I moved house in October, my pole is back in its box. Classes have smaller numbers, giving me even less chance to book in last minute. I lost my strength; my flexib...

 I am borderline a hoarder. What is lucky, is that I had to move a million times in the last 10 years. Fine, if you want the real number, I called 13 different places "home" since 2009. In contrast, only a few of them felt really like home. Why did I say that is lucky? Because when I am forced to move, I am forced to sort through my belongings, or most of them, therefore my hoarder lifestyle has never really kicked in. That being said, I still keep every knick-knack for a longer-than-normal/needed/necessary time. If I found it, or it is a scrap of another project, I am so worried about creating waste, about wasting money, I always keep it, just in case it will be good for something. I believe I learnt this behaviour from my grandparents. My mum's parents ALWAYS kept every little piece of metal, wood, textile, paper, you name it. And they were crafty people. They had a lot of projects, always creating something. My grandpa worked at the radio as an engineer, my grandma was...

 I can talk about how much I love my partner or how excited I am about moving in together for hours. I actively am planning our wedding, and think about wanting babies at least 3 times a day. But I am also going to be the person that says you do not need any of those to be a full, happy, successful person. Maybe you don't have those things, or not all of them, because you can't, couldn't so far, or you just don't want to have those things, and that is absolutely fine. We are all in different stages of life. I, for instance, had finished my 2nd degree by the time my partner started his first, and there is only 10 months difference in age between us. I have managed people twice my age at work, and I know many of the younger generation earns double my wage. We go through life differently, because of the choices we make. Society, and many people within, has a rough outline on what the stages should be in which phase of aging, like check-points in a videogame. Unfortunately,...

 It has been a year since we started to feel the consequences of a global pandemic. A year since people stopped going into work, a year since we downloaded Tiktok, a year since we started wearing our masks and gloves. So many things had changed within the space of few weeks, businesses closed, people stuck together and torn apart. The normal flow of life had slowed down and sped up, changed courses and swapped priorities. Do you ever think, what if Covid-19 never hit? Where would you be? What would be different and what would be the same? If you were back waking up in your bed on the 28th February 2020, what would be your first thoughts of hope on how your day will look like? Around that time, I was excited for a change, excited for packing up and leaving, leaving my job, leaving my house, my friends, the city, leaving it all to start again. I was excited for an opportunity, one that comes around once in your life, a promotion with a life upgrade. Including a move and life-style ch...

 Hi, I'm Lilla, and I am not perfect, but I am trying. I have been very self-absorbed in the past, selfish, if you will. Depression and existential dread often does that to you. I wasn't malicious I just didn't care, but also I didn't think me changing my ways will help the bigger picture, even more so, me changing wouldn't be enough, or I couldn't change enough to make it count. And that's where I was wrong. Every little thing we do better are helping to be better. I have recently seen a woman talking about going vegan, being vegan, and the reaction she often gets from people. Yes, I am getting inspo from tiktok anecdotes,  what are you going to do about it? She said that way too many people want to make the step but can't give up one or two things, because they are necessary in their diets, or those are their favourite foods. She said that this shouldn't hold someone back from giving up all the other things though. And that very much resonated with...

 Starting a new series within the CCC Wednesdays, posting about gifted projects, sharing creations I made on prompt or as a crafting kit. I love these because they are genuinely the kindest presents from friends and family, who know how much creativity means to me. They are also pushing me to try new things and techniques. And this one is a prime example. I have seen diamond paintings everywhere before, my Tiktok algorithm went through a phase of showing me several ASMR DP videos on my FYP. So when I got this kit for my birthday back in September, I was excited. Especially because of the cows, the vibrant colours and it was a decent size, not too small, but not impossibly big. When we went into lockdown for the third time in January, I knew that getting it done will be my priority. Little did I know how long it will take. First, I thought it will be mundane because it doesn't require creative input, it is very repetitive. You pick up a "diamond", place it on its designate...