Operation Transfer Girl

 I met my partner at the highlight of my self-confidence and what I consider to be my best potential. It was the end of lockdown 1, when I had two whole months to work on myself, both mentally and physically with no interruptions, no time limit, no pressure. I was my skinniest, strongest, I had finally made the leap and dyed my hair, which just made me feel like a badass. I was experimenting with more glamorous make-up and outfits. I could live out my creativity on the numerous projects I had going on at once. And let's admit, I was going through a glow-up after a heartbreak. So all in all, when we met on the 1st July, on the day I first returned to work, I was fit. I was already stressed and worked up after less than 8 hours of the job, but I looked amazing in my little denim skirt, pink crop top; making way-too-much glitter work as if I just got off a photoshoot for a fashion designer. That's the me he first ever got to see in person, took on one, two, three dates. Six months...

 Today I was pleasantly surprised. I took the opportunity to reach out to a company I wanted to apply for a job with. It was the first time I pushed myself to contact someone for "any questions" from a job posting and I was ever so delighted to hear a lovely, bubbly voice on the other end, it helped me slip back into my "phone voice" after weeks of limited conversation with anyone but my cat. Amongst other things, I wanted to ask her about the specific requirements, especially regarding technical knowledge, as all specifics were purely listed under 'desirable' and not 'essential'. The job description was everything I was looking for, meaning that this is not the first job I would be applying for with the same or similar title. However, most of these previous postings were all throwing software names at you from all kind of angles, as if the person applying used to be managing the position in question and they decided, they had enough of the higher sa...

 In 2020 I fell in love twice. This is about the first one. About same time last year, I was stupidly in love but in a fairy tale, unlikely match, destined to be doomed fashion. The spark, amazing, the intellectual connection, faultless, the support, what I always deserved. People told me, I was beaming happiness. I found love like never before. And it made me a better person. Little hurdles and inconveniences didn't flip me out as they used to. I was calm, collected and accepting. They gave me all the attention I wanted, the praise, the love. And I gave them my all, they entered my world and I handed the whole to them. I absorbed them and they absorbed me. They knew me better than I knew myself, and I understood them like I never understood anyone before. It wasn't obsessive. But I felt really loved, and happy about that love. It was love I never knew before. The right love. The relationship, as almost non-existent, I am reluctant to call it that, was short lived. While the lo...

When I was first furloughed at the end of April, for two weeks, I did nothing. And that was cool. Then it got boring, tiring and damaging to do nothing. I had all the time in the world, something I had never experienced before, as even at Uni I spent my summers working. As I found out, time can be overwhelming. I had so many things I wanted to do and try. It took me a few weeks until I managed to find the right balance for me. Again, for the first time probably since high-school (that's 7 years peeps), I finally had a routine: I got up in the morning early, did some online learning, smashed through some job applications or worked on my CV, cooked lunch (I skip breakfast even on a good day, it is all about the 2 cups of coffee and the biscuits in the morning), watched something while I ate and the food was settling, then I went for a run and worked out for another 1-2hours. My evenings were for socialising in the house and doing my crafting. And this was almost every day, without a ...

 2020 was a pretty horrendous year, that's no news. Many horrible things happened, I have been lucky enough that me and my family have not been struck by coronavirus. Lucky, or sensible? Could the majority of people have avoided the devastation by being more careful? I can't and won't judge that. And as the self-centred person I am, this is about me and my year. Not a BBC news recap. 2020 was a pretty horrendous year, that's no news. I haven't been to Hungary since February. I have barely seen my relatives this year. I have been furloughed, leaving me and my messed up mind to my own devices. This is because my workplace shut. The once thriving and overbooked hotel was empty. Then when it reopened, it struggled, it changed, it was hurting, the team reduced, closed, opened, closed, half opened - changed. And it still hasn't settled. It's uncertain. My career, on hold. Had three amazing job opportunities this year. All three, disappeared. One came back. I stepp...